This is an experience gained from living in a boarding school. I was in secondary 3 when I first went into a boarding school. I was so excited to embark on this new journey. I still remember exactly my room number was 3-206. It was a two-bedded room. After I was shown around, I went to my room for the first time. I entered the room with great anticipation, when my nose begged for a retreat. The room was very smelly. I was so shocked at the room condition that all my excitement was all gone. That night, my roommate came back. Luckily, he was a friendly person. He introduced himself as Sean. He was from Central Europe.
After I stayed with him for a week, I found out the reason why the room was so smelly. It was because my roommate only took a bath 3 times a week and washed clothes only after they were worn for three times, although he exercised often. The room got smellier by the day. Until one day, I could not stand it anymore. It had been disturbed by the smell for the whole day.
Finally, I gathered a courage and asked him why didn't he take a shower more frequently. The answer was "isn't three times a week frequent enough?" I was baffled by his answer. He went on explaining that at his home town he only took shower once a week. The weather there was so cold that you hardly sweat. Here he was so sweaty, so he had already washed up more often. Being from the warm and humid country like Singapore, I believe that we have to wash yourself up twice or even three times a day and we wash our cloth after we wear once. I told him that this is the norm here, otherwise, your smell wouldn't be desirable to other people. He was astounded by our social norm.
After my comments, his habit slowly changed. He showered more often than before and the smell subsided. It was an experience of cultural difference which could result in a conflict. However, when I voiced my concerns out, he graciously took my advice. I believe a person who is more familiar with a particular culture should help others to adapt. This, I believe, is how to bridge the inter-cultural differences.
Hi Billet!
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting encounter! (Though yes, it isn't exactly one that most people would want to experience.)
Your experience brings out the fact that one's culture is largely influenced by his geographic/environmental origins. Sean's behaviour was such not because he was purposely trying to offend you, rather it was due to the fact that bathing multiple times in a single day was a completely foreign concept to him. (Boy am I glad I wasn't in your shoes. I think I'd have just died from the smell.) Simply imagining it is making me queasy. Haha!
As an additional point, I think you handled the situation very well; it helped that Sean was appropriately receptive too. And I agree with your view on how those who are more familiar with a certain society's norms ought to help others in adapting, in order to bridge inter-cultural differences. Very well-said, Billet! (:
Hi Billet,
ReplyDeleteI agree with May that you really handled this potential conflict well. In this way, you have helped Sean to assimilate and adopt to the new environment.
This story makes me think of the body odours problem we sometimes encounter. People from a particular country might wear traditional perfumes, which do not smell good to us. If the smell is bearable, then we could stay with it. But if it is really as unbearable as Sean's, talking it out is a necessary step to take.
Hi Billet,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing with us your personal experience :)
Encountered in an intercultural conflict, it will be good to talk things out directly for clarification. Many of the conflicts are due to misunderstanding of each other’s own culture, and I truly agree with you to help others to adapt to the new culture if possible.
This is an interesting anecdote, Billet. You have focused on a specific situation, and you have described it and interpreted it quite thoroughly (though one impediment is that there are quite a few language problems). Indeed, differing cultural norms was the main issue. You were clearly right in alerting Sean to the expectations in his new environment.
ReplyDeleteAs I read this, I remembered how even back in Ohio during my childhood the norm for bathing, at least for some families, was once a week. Part of that was related to the fact that, in times past, running water was a luxury and not a regular thing for some families. Here the key variable was probably the economic situation: in families like my own, one sign of success was having a functioning bath that could be used at one's convenience. For some such an option was not realistic. This makes me wonder about your former roommate's socioeconomic background. What would give greater insight within this post's analysis would be for you to reflect on just such variables. My guess is that even in Singapore (and certainly in times past), not everyone takes a bath three times a day.
Another issue here is your language use. Please see the following:
1) It was a 2 bedded room. >>> ?
2) ...the room was so stink. >>> ?
3) ...my roommate only took a bath 3 times a week and wash clothes.... >>> ?
4) has gotten >>> got
5) he wear them >>> ?
6) ...why don't you take a shower more frequently. >>> why he didn't take a shower more frequently.
7) He go on explaining that "at his home town he only took shower once a week. >>>
8) I told him that this is the norm here. >>> I told him that this was the norm here.
9) ...is the norm here. Otherwise, your smell won't be desirable to the people around you. >>> ... is the norm here, otherwise one's smell wouldn't be desirable to other people.
10) ...he graciously take my advice. >>> ...he graciously took my advice.
11) He was from a place where it is a lot colder than Singapore. >>> Is it generally colder, or at least during winter months? It might have been better to explain in more detail.
In any case, I appreciate your effort here. Thanks, Billet!
Hi Billet,
ReplyDeleteFirst and foremost, I would like to comment you having such interesting encounter. Definitely not a pleasure one.. :/
Basically I agree with the rest that you have actually handled the intercultural situation well, denying it of any chance of escalating into a full blown conflict. You actually reasoned well with him and fortunately, your roommate is not one that is actually unreasonable and refuses to heed any advice. As mentioned by others, the reason as to for Sean’s behavior is due to the fact that he has not fully integrated into the culture of Singapore. For the fact that due to the geographical location of Singapore in the world atlas, people tend to sweat and thus that raises a need to actually shower more than once, twice at least. In any case, I strongly agree with you that anyone who is familiar with the current cultures for a certain place should actually help those who are rather unfamiliar who may face similar situations outside. All in all, good job on your part.. :D
Cheers,
Sylvester
Hi Billet,
ReplyDeleteSurely an interesting experience that was! Maybe in our culture, we are so used to bathing so regularly, at least once a day. It is good to resolve the conflict earlier before it gets out of hand.
This really brings another point on non-verbal communications. We have 5 senses, and one of them is smell. Definitely, it plays a part when we are interacting with one another. I do always make it a point to watch out for my personal body odour too.
Thanks for sharing!